69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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