i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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