No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
