that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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