Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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