I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
