So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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