from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
