I just saw a hot homeless man
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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