I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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