So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
