dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy