Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
