I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize