This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
