I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
