Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
