Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
