Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
