Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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