They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
only if we run a train.
done.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
