I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
