I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
