i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
