don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
