Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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