I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
