Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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