if you like me you must not know who I am
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
