david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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