if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
