Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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