:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
