if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize