More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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