My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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