jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
