I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
