maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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