Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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