Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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