I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You dont lie about slip and slides
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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