ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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