Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.