He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.