We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina