Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
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So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
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So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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