I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize