PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
