in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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