D3 body, D1 cock
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
