He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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