Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
