All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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