Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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