I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize
