tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize