Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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